google these freakish bastards

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Yeah...I don't know whether to be scared or grossed out. All I know is that I get the heeby jeebies just looking at these fellas. They have plagued every home I have lived in since I moved out of my parents' house, and I am sure they were there, I just didn't have to exterminate them. For as long as I could remember I have always referred to these freakishly quick, creepy cellar dwelling nuisances as silverfish. I recently googled them because for some reason, they have chosen to shack up in my home in mass quantities this year. When I googled "silverfish" this nasty little fucker (can I say that on here?) came up in the results. Well, thank god I don't have what are really silverfish. Turns out these ugly basement bugs could be like an inbred relative of the cock-a-roach (you have to say that with a Mexican sort of accent). They like to eat paper, glue, cardboard etc. They sound a little easier to eliminate though. So back to my haunting insect, I have come to find out it is called a house centipede. I'd like to shake the nerdy bug genius' hand who conjured up that humdinger of a name... but back to the facts... These things eat spiders--another one of my domestic rivals--as well as other small insects and their eggs. They are nocturnal which is handy because there is nothing like turning on a light to get some water at 1 am and seeing a large bug with 50 legs book across your floor at 800 miles per hour. What's even better is finding curled up carcasses on my bathroom floor because my cat has taken up hunting them as her nocturnal hobby. I am seeking severe vengeance on these vile creatures for the mental anguish and physical repercussions*. They are ugly and I hate them. I get the willies just thinking about them. I have horrible visions of an army of centipedes coming after me. The web site said they bite. YES!!! They bite (okay...so it said rarely...but they do). I am going to arm myself with raid...beside the bed, in my bathrooms...I'll strap a can to the inside of my thigh--not as sexy as Lora Croft, but oh well. Repulsive bastards...

*I was walking down my basement stairs one day, and you know how you notice something but your mind doesn't process what you see quick enough? Yeah...well, there was a big, juicy centipede on my step and, yeah, I keep going knowing I saw something. When I realized I had stepped bare foot on this big daddy nasty bug, I freaked out. Shut up--you would have too. Thus inducing panic and loss of balance and coordination, I fell down about 8 steps smacking my tailbone and head, and I think I bruised a kidney (can you do that?). Man...mental scaring. I still have the heeby jeebies over that... the whole crunching bug under the bare foot and mushy bug guts smooshed into my carpet... nauseating.