letter of complaint

Dear Mother Nature,
It has been 6 months since I have seen one full day of sun and temperatures not requiring coats. Seeing as how it is now April and the first day of spring has come and gone, I was eagerly awaiting the arrival of tollerable weather. I'm not quite sure what is up your ass this late in the season, but your recent collaberation with Jack Frost was not a very nice April Fool's joke. (and it was a little late I may add. Maybe you should consult with Father Time before you try to pull some shit again.) The weathermen I'm sure are fearing for their lives, because you are convieniently a figurative entity and cannot be "taken out". When 3 inches of snow stick to the ground on the lakeshore in the month of April...it does things to people. Bad things. Does "going postal" mean anything to you? People in this town pine for the seasons that are, well, not winter. And when you say its Spring, well, you best deliver spring to us, bitch. Fluffy frozen shit falling from the sky does not constitute as Spring to anyone but a freaking Eskimo and his pet polar bear. And let me tell you, people do not just get emotionally distrot, but now headcolds and flus will plague the workplaces and schools until you stop this yo-yo weather bullshit. Do you have a contract with the HMO's and PPO's? I know you have got to be pissed about all the polution and whatnot...things damaging your lovely Ozone, but I figured you would be getting all your anger out with all those hurricanes and tornados, monsoons and floods, and that tsunami. Now you gotta go and pick on the North because having three quarters of the year spent in the cold, wind, snow, sleet, rain and frost just isn't punishment enough. What the hell ever happened to global warming?
Pissed off and cold,
Erie
PS. Please don't get mad and take this letter out on me...Buffalo made me write it.