where the hell is my paycheck?

USA Today had published an article in 2005 which placed an annual salary to a job that does not have a monetary value: Stay-at-home mother, housewife, homemaker--whatever you wanna call it. According to a poll done at Salary.com, which I can't seem to find anywhere, it was determined a salary of $130,000.00 a year is deserving of a stay-at-home mother. Sounds good to me! But, some lowbrow, naive, jello for brains fool from George Mason University thought they would break it down further and sound like a jealous jackass. He gets all bent out of shape over a hypothetical situation. http://www.stats.org/record.jsp?type=logentry&ID=297 This person states that the poll had problems and that stay-at-home mothers "invent" titles for themselves that do not deserve the same salary a professional is worth. Granted, I do see the validity in that (as in the example given in the GMU blog), a cook gets paid X amount per year to create and invent meals and dishes that most mothers don't have the time to mess with. I know I don't deserve credit for reheating left-overs, and that having a full-time chef's salary is ridiculous. It is also ridiculous for any stay-at-home mom to believe that she deserves full-time pay for all the "careers" or "jobs" she takes on. But then the ignorant jerk has the audacity to ask "who would pay this kind of money for these services?" DUH!!!! You shithead!!!!! That is why we DON'T get paid. Our bosses are freaking back sassing, Disney loving, sticky drool monkeys. And then he blogs (because at this point I can only assume it is a testosterone injected male primate concocting these outrageous statements) that any man, given this salary would opt to be a stay-at-home mom. (giggle giggle....bursts out in laughter) So, GMU blog author, I challenge you--and if I had $2500.00 ($130,000 broke down to a weekly wage) I would pay you to do what I do for just one week. Which is sad. Many people would need the income as motivation, and I do it strictly for the rewards of knowing I am raising smart, courteous, loving and well-rounded individuals...not for a paycheck. I believe that if people were paid to do what I do, parents would be opting out on the work force and staying home for the wrong reasons.

referencing back to "inventing" titles...I just have to say to this insensitive blogger: Fuck off. We do not "invent" titles. They have always been there, and always will be...unfortunate for women like myself, they tend to go unrecognized. Not that I can complain, I do have my perks. I can take the kids to the pool and hang out, or go to the beach...or maybe the zoo, etc. I can indulge in a nap once in a while when my kids nap. I have more quality time with my kids than anyone else. But, if I can remember correctly from the years that I was a part of the work force, employers and companies allow some perks along the way as well. I think there is something called "vacation time"...hmmmm...paid to be AWAY from work. Let me let you in on a little something: unless I get family to fill in for me, I have to shell out money for a vacation day. And at that, it usually just a few hours for dinner and drinks. Here's another one: "sick day"....yeah. never really had one of those. I've cleaned up my own vomit and then turned around and cleaned up my child's vomit 5 minutes later. And how about this one: "when you're child is away at school, is that a 6 hour lunch break?" Yes. Yes, I can see where a boob such as yourself would be so shallow not to investigate before you open your pre-opinionated pie hole and allow such worthless crap to spill out. Considering this time as a "break" is a great misconception. I have laundry, dishes, pick up time (cuz anyone who has kids know that there is shit all over your house that is out of place daily) among other things that aren't done daily such as balancing the check book, vacuuming, dusting, meal plans, phone calls regarding family issues (doctors, insurance companies, schools, utility companies, etc.), grocery shopping, scrubbing toilets, etc. Oddly enough, if I spend time "goofing off" like watching TV or messing around on the internet, I feel guilty about it--and I'm not even wasting company wages...go figure that! In my situation, my daughter only goes to school 2 days a week for 3 hours a day, and I have an 8 month old to look after as well. I do believe that when I am sending all my children to school full time, I will go back to work part time. You may be saying that mothers who don't stay home still have these duties. Yes, they do. And they don't get paid for it either. Unfortunately, they spend less time with their families in an attempt to perform those duties. It is mentioned that the salary is based off a 100 hour work week...60 of which are overtime. 2 problems with that one. 1. There are 168 hours in a week. To say that a mother does not "work" the whole time is true, we do need sleep. But we are totally on call. I don't remember the last night I slept a full 8 hours...hell, I'll even say 6 hours...without any "calls" I had to take. And from what I understand, professionals on call get paid more when they are "called in"...am I right? 2. Overtime. ???? Well, I'll take it if that's what they want to calculate it as, but I always considered overtime to be the hours one works to finish resposibilities that couldn't be completed during a typical work day (say 8 hours). To even put a label of a 40 hour work week on what I do is asinine, but then everything else said in your blog was too.
Since this "inventing" titles thing is bothering me so much, I thought I would just list a few of the "invented" titles us stay-at-home mothers have. (of course they are only part time, and some are only per diem--meaning that they are skills one only uses when needed)
1. Cook. --even though it doesn't take much to reheat leftovers, or make macaroni and cheese from a box, Taco Bell employees make like 7 something an hour to throw pre-mixed frozen shit on a grill, wrap it up and ask if I want fire sauce with that.
2. Teacher. --again, an important job that even the real ones don't get paid enough to do. parents have duty to teach their children lessons the schools don't give.
3. Counselor. --kids can get pretty unruly if they don't know how to cope with their emotions...TRUST ME.
4. Personal Aide. --yes, I spoon feed them and wipe their asses. Put a price tag on that one.
5. Nurse. --granted, I can't do anywhere near as much as a nurse could do, but I administer medications, basic first aid, and make judgments regarding their health.
6. Book keeper. --1 income, 4 people. juggling funds so that there is food, diapers, lights, heat, a home etc. as well as a little left over for fun, new clothes (which kids need often), or savings (ha! That's a good one!)
7. Maid. --although my house is nowhere near perfectly in order, but the dishes get done, we have clean clothes to wear, the dust doesn't pile up and I still feel clean when I get out of my shower.
8. Event planner. --coordinating family events such as parties, holidays, play dates, etc.
9. Personal Assistant. --not only does it suck to have to shop for things that aren't for you, but taking a stubborn, "I want everything" 4 year old with you puts the icing on the cake.
10. Moderator. --keeping peace between the kids...also making sure they aren't diving head first off the couch or putting marbles in their mouth.