the road to bankruptcy...

All I need is $850,000.00, an escrow account that has continual deposits (so I can pay the property taxes), and my husband and I could probably squeak by with 3 jobs a piece to pay for things like electric, heat, water and general maintenance. Imagine 6,400 square feet of home... in my case, that's just another 4,400 square feet to trash and clean up. The Lord knows if I have to shell out the money for taxes, upkeep and utility bills, I won't be seeing a maid anytime soon. But just to dream about it makes me downright giddy. This house has been listed by Howard Hanna, but I can't seem to find it online. I read all about it in the House to Home section of Saturday's paper. "Luxurious" is how they describe it. "Overkill" is what I call it. It is in a neighborhood that is tucked away pretty much in the middle of the city, not one of the new developments on the outskirts of town. Not quite new construction, but built in 1992. Slightly disappointed that there are only 4 bedrooms, cuz hell, if I'm shellin' out over three quarters of a million to shack up in style, it would be nice to have a few extra bedrooms for a large family and/or guests. Lets face it, 6,400 square feet is wasted space without people to utilize all of it. There are also 4 full bathrooms on the 2nd floor, as well as a "powder room" on the first floor, which would totally come in handy during all the keg parties I would host (for 5 dollars per person, of course). Then there is a formal dining room and living room...blah blah blah, and I'm sure I would have to get that ugly fancy looking furniture with the plastic on top of it, cuz comfort and practicality walk out the door at that point. The kitchen is a little disappointing as well... 19x19. Now, considering my kitchen is a closet compared to that, 19x19 just doesn't scream "gourmet" to me. Hello, aren't we talking elaborate here?? It does get better. I think I would set up camp in this area in which is described as a "media center". Complete with surround sound, doors leading out to a patio (and a meticulously landscaped yard), mahogany floors, one of 4 or 5 fireplaces, and get this: a circular bar that joins the "media center" with the indoor pool. But that's not all...the pool room, get this, also houses a stone hot tub...the pool has freaking fiber optic lighting, and there is a retractable glass ceiling. Yes, a convertible roof. Bordering all of this is a steam shower room, exercise room and laundry room. And in case all that isn't enough to make you wanna go play the lottery, there is also a 3 car heated garage, completely finished basement with a wine cellar, private balconies to most of the bedrooms, and floating spiral staircase. For some more headaches and living costs, this property also features 4 hot water tanks, multiple furnaces and central air units, as well as a central vacuum system (cuz who the hell wants to carry a vacuum around 6,400 square feet), and who could forget the ever so important security system with cameras/video and gates. I hope there is an intercom system in this palace.