como? seriously loco...

Did I spell that right? Eh...I really don't freaking care. So how 'bout I was watching TV last night when this commercial came on. I think its the same one that has been pissing my mom off for some time now. Its in regards to how "unfair" medical practice is in Pennsylvania. There are "minorities" (who are seriously the majority of our population now, so can we get a new word for it?) describing their plights to have good medical benefits magically poof into their hands. This one guy says that he is too poor and his coverage blows...WELCOME TO AMERICA JACKASS!!!! Our health coverage just sucks anyway, its not because your skin is brown. My family struggled with the same bullshit for years..and guess what? Now we pay $400 a month out of my husband's hard earned salary and our coverage still sucks rotten eggs--and my kids aren't even covered under that fee!!!! YEAH! And here's the kicker...WE ARE MIDDLE CLASS WHITE FOLKS!!!! Then there was this other guy--this is the best one. He goes off in Spanish about how its not fair that he can't get good health care because he can't find a doctor to understand what he is saying. Yes, well I don't feel so bad for this fella. I wouldn't move to Mexico, or France, or Italy or anywhere the native language isn't ENGLISH and be arrogant enough to think there is no need to learn to speak their tongue. Hello stupid!!! You're country wouldn't have sympathy on my dumb ass if I did that. What I found to be the VERY BEST part of that segment was the fact they used flippin' subtitles. Yes, subtitles, because hmmmm...I guess the producers of that little commercial are living in the reality that not everyone in this country speaks Spanish...and why the fuck should we? Ha ha ha...subtitles for some jackass bitching about his doctor not knowing Spanish....ha ha ha! I guess the whole point of the commercial was for Pennsylvania to find a better way to make healthcare more uniform across the board. But lets face the facts: all of our programs nation wide are suffering, as is the economy. Its all about the money, and if you're lucky you work for a large corporation that eats your insurance costs...but on the other hand, how good are they? And lets face this fact as well: its difficult enough to find a doctor that doesn't cheat, molest patients, hire irresponsible oafs that can't file records correctly as not to mix up patients (yes, personal experience), or isn't as concerned about if you can pay for procedures and meds but is more concerned about your health. Why screw with the good doctors out there just because they aren't bi or even trilingual? They practice in America...the country that has been teaching "ENGLISH" in its classrooms for oh, just a few hundred years as its primary language. The moral of my story: stop airing this bullshit commercial...for one thing, Pennsylvania is not discriminating people by denying good health care benefits. We are ALL getting screwed in way or another--I've cried about it on several occasions. Did you know that you can get denied care from an insurance company (namely Highmark BCBS) for the simple fact that you were on medication OR professional care for ANY mental illness at ANY time in your life? Unless you work for a large company that doesn't ask for a medical history at the time of application. PLUS, if you have a pre-existing condition, not only can they refuse to cover care for that ongoing issue, they can deny you coverage all together or ask you to pay an $800 a month premium for coverage of any new conditions. Did you also know that a family could have income low enough to qualify for housing assistance and food stamps, but still have to pay a monthly premium for state health care? That includes white people too you whiney turds. And for another thing, call me a bigot if you like, if you want to be heard in this country, say it in English please. I am tired of being classified as insensitive jerks because we aren't adapting to the people who immigrate here. I have nothing against immigration...hell, that is how this country became what it is; with one small exception: my great grandmother made every effort to learn to speak English, and all 11 of her children learned English as children, rather than Italian. And they never lost their culture along the way. Can't anyone just live with the fact the economy bites, and not place the blame solely on discrimination?

i can dig this...

There are way too many 'make me wanna scrape out my eardrums with a dull knife' kind of kids music groups out there. Such "artists" (I guess as they like to be referred to) include: Barney--a freakishly kind plum colored dinosaur, The Wiggles--4 Aussie dudes who drive around in the tiny ass little car that they refer to as "The Big Red Car", and The Doodlebops--I don't even know what to say about these wierdos...kinda like clown college meets bad highschool theater. At any rate, no matter what a parent does to avoid these entertainment disasters, children develop obcessive phases of worship to these "musicians". Alas, there is hope to the industry. There is this fella, his name is Dan Zanes, who is revolutionizing "family music". Originally in the band called "Del Fuegos" (they had a few hit singles in the early 80's), he took time off from music when the band broke up. Then when he had kids, he got together with some of the parents he met from outings to the park and stuff, and they started playing music for their kids. It got pretty big in his neighborhood, so they started recording and playing parties and stuff. Its good music though. Its not the hokey, bouncy, repetitive, annoying noise us parents cringe and try to tolerate. Its like mellow mini rock. And there is just something wacky about Dan Zanes that my kids love to watch, and his videos (they plan them on Noggin a lot, and sometimes Disney) are fun. Festival Five and Starbucks just co-released a new album of the band that is being sold at Starbucks. This dude is making mad cash with this genre of "family" tunes. What a relief! Thank you Dan!!
http://festivalfive.com/flash/video5.shtml Click to check out some of his videos... he kinda has a Bob Dylan kind of sound. House Party Time and Smile, Smile, Smile are good.

still don't get it...

I could only upload 2 pictures in my last blog. At least I got the dramatic effect I was going for. (ahhhh...another sentence ending with a preposition) Okay...enjoy. (sentence fragment)

BOO!!!!!!

what in God's name possesses people to get the camera when they see one of these things? my first instinct is murder. Uuuuhhh...JRo, in the basement with a newspaper.

google these freakish bastards

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Yeah...I don't know whether to be scared or grossed out. All I know is that I get the heeby jeebies just looking at these fellas. They have plagued every home I have lived in since I moved out of my parents' house, and I am sure they were there, I just didn't have to exterminate them. For as long as I could remember I have always referred to these freakishly quick, creepy cellar dwelling nuisances as silverfish. I recently googled them because for some reason, they have chosen to shack up in my home in mass quantities this year. When I googled "silverfish" this nasty little fucker (can I say that on here?) came up in the results. Well, thank god I don't have what are really silverfish. Turns out these ugly basement bugs could be like an inbred relative of the cock-a-roach (you have to say that with a Mexican sort of accent). They like to eat paper, glue, cardboard etc. They sound a little easier to eliminate though. So back to my haunting insect, I have come to find out it is called a house centipede. I'd like to shake the nerdy bug genius' hand who conjured up that humdinger of a name... but back to the facts... These things eat spiders--another one of my domestic rivals--as well as other small insects and their eggs. They are nocturnal which is handy because there is nothing like turning on a light to get some water at 1 am and seeing a large bug with 50 legs book across your floor at 800 miles per hour. What's even better is finding curled up carcasses on my bathroom floor because my cat has taken up hunting them as her nocturnal hobby. I am seeking severe vengeance on these vile creatures for the mental anguish and physical repercussions*. They are ugly and I hate them. I get the willies just thinking about them. I have horrible visions of an army of centipedes coming after me. The web site said they bite. YES!!! They bite (okay...so it said rarely...but they do). I am going to arm myself with raid...beside the bed, in my bathrooms...I'll strap a can to the inside of my thigh--not as sexy as Lora Croft, but oh well. Repulsive bastards...

*I was walking down my basement stairs one day, and you know how you notice something but your mind doesn't process what you see quick enough? Yeah...well, there was a big, juicy centipede on my step and, yeah, I keep going knowing I saw something. When I realized I had stepped bare foot on this big daddy nasty bug, I freaked out. Shut up--you would have too. Thus inducing panic and loss of balance and coordination, I fell down about 8 steps smacking my tailbone and head, and I think I bruised a kidney (can you do that?). Man...mental scaring. I still have the heeby jeebies over that... the whole crunching bug under the bare foot and mushy bug guts smooshed into my carpet... nauseating.

contemplating a strike

I know you are probably all broken up and having trouble going about simple daily tasks since I made a promise to blog again and I am not. I have a perfectly good explanation: this blogger site is pissing me off. I have made several attempts to upload images and haven't had any such luck. At first I thought it may be my fault...but come on...lets think about it...not bloodly likely. Then I thought maybe my computer is seeking revenge since I have been neglecting to renew my Notron subscription. But I think I will just place the blame on the people behind the scenes...site administrators, or cyber geeks...whom ever has control over that shit. Lets get with the program people. What in the hell kind of good is a blog about nature's sweet summer beauty and creepy freaky bugs if there are no images to compliment my poetic story telling talents? So what can I say other than we need to get this problem fixed...my public is awaiting me. Until then, here is a fun game to play: go back to my blogs and see how many sentences I ended with prepositions. My 6th grade english teacher would be proud. ;) Hey, if those super guys who wrote the Hokey Pokey can do it, so can I. (Thats what its all about....!!)

bright idea...

I have been looking all morning on the internet for pictures or something to back this up, but I can't find crap. I want to say it was in Chicago there is a public fountain and the city is concerned that people swimming in it will contaminate the water. Therefore, they posted a sign that reads there is hydrogen in the water. Apparently, there are enough people in that city who passed 5th grade science, because the sign didn't stop them from swimming. Why post a freaking sign targeted at stupid people and not put a direct "no swimming" post?? What a waste of tax money. Boo to the people who made that decision...bad bad joke--the kind that doesn't even get sympathy giggles.

do i need counseling?

I seriously have to think that I have issues, and my psyche is screaming at me to have them resolved. Maybe I am just eating all the wrong things before bed. :) I can't figure out why my dreams have been so demented lately. To the point I have been having anxiety attacks over them. I'll start off with my dreams last night, that somehow all had an underlying message: people ditching me. ??? yeah, I know. The first one was just odd. I was in New York City and it was summer, but everyone was wearing coats, hats, scarves...the whole nine if it were January. And I was in town with my husband, and 2 of our old bosses--for those of you who understand, it will make it funnier--it was Benacci and Berndt. HA HA!! Anywho, we were in some alcohol convention or something...for people who make their own spirits. We made vodka. But I drank the tiny little sample bottle we brought for the judges to sample. So we had to drive back to Erie to Benacci's house to get more (thank God NYC to Erie is only a 2 minute drive in my dreams). So I fell asleep there, and they started to pull away just as I was waking up. I tried to chase them, but got lost in an ally full of people waiting to watch fireworks. Then I woke up pissed. So when I fell back asleep again, I had another dream that my bathroom ceiling was leaking tons of water...not like the ceiling in my closet in real life doesn't give me enough anxiety. So for some reason when you are dreaming, a leaky bathroom ceiling warrants fits of panic to evacuate your home. So me and Bob left while our neighbors outside just watched our house deteriorate from freaking rain. Then we pulled into a gas station to fill up and I went inside the store to get something while Bob pumped the gas. Then while I was coming out of the store Bob rushed to get the hose outta the gas tank and scrambled into the car and sped off. Then I woke up again. Pissed again. Lucky for him he was already up and I couldn't beat on him. That's when I decided to just get up and stop the cycle.
My most traumatic dream was last week just before Benny's first birthday party. A little more background: His party was to be at my mother-in-law's pool where we often get pretty tanked and do stupid shit off the diving board. So smart, I know. So the dream started that there was a party there, but it was me with a bunch of my friends from highschool. I did a dive into the pool and cracked my head. If anyone watched the Sopranos this season, there were like 4 or 5 episodes where Tony was in a coma, and he was dreaming some crazy stuff. Well, that's what happened to me. People were coming to my bedside and telling me stories and I was dreaming about them (inside my dream...???). And my neighbor was telling me not to worry that she would take care of all the things that needed to be done for Benny's party... And then her husband and his mom were there and were trying to explain to me that I was in a coma, and have you ever been in a situation that you just break down in denial? Well, I did that. Then I became hysterical over things, like missing Benny's party, and first steps, and who would do Maddy's hair every day and so on. When I woke up, I cried for close to a half an hour. I've had anxiety attacks about it ever since.
Should I call someone? Do I need professional help? Maybe I should just stop eating chocolate cake or chips and dip right before I pass out.

reviews

Okay...you can tell Ebert and Roper (are those the right fellas?) they are out of a job, cuz here I come with my opinions. Although they aren't too current. I really don't get out much, so I have to rely on Pay-per-view and Blockbuster for evening entertainment. I have found that it makes my evenings go by faster when my hubby goes outta town if I watch a movie...and I've actually made it all the way though quite a few without passing out. So here are some of my thoughts on what I've seen the past few months.
Brokeback Mountain: Well, what can I say about this? It was a great leap in advancement for the movie industry and the gay community. But was it really all it was cracked up to be? Hmmmmm....no. Great acting...not a bad story--I did end up crying. Let me tell you what had me the whole freaking movie though was the freaking music. Did this score any awards?? Hello, academy!!!! There was a song they kept reprising the whole movie that was just moving. I give this flick 3 outta 4 stars.
King Kong: Man...compared to the old school one I watched with my dad oh so many years ago, the special effects kicked ass. But I still didn't think it was anything special. I seriously slept the whole way through the first hour? half hour? whatever. My hubby said I missed some disturbing shit, but I really didn't care. I woke up and watched from the time the big monkey snatched the pretty lady up and took her away to be his companion. I'm still confused and upset about the dinosaurs...and the nasty mutant bugs and crap...but who cares. I had the heeby jeebies all night over that. Putting all that aside, I LOVE Jack Black, and I thought he was fantastic...and so was Naomi Watts. And who the hell still thinks Adrian Brody is good looking? Ech! Wasn't he anorexic or something? 2 outta 4 stars for this one. I'm not so into action films though.
Chronicles of Narnia: Bravo!!!!! We screened this one before we put it on for our 4 year old, and let me tell you I am glad we did. First off because it was a GREAT movie, and second because it would have had her sleeping in our bed for a month. (She is a chicken shit) I LOVED this movie. The kids were soooooo cute, and amazingly talented actors, the special effects, and costumes/makeup--awesome! I loved the book series when I was a kid, and I felt like I was 8 years old again reading the book "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe". It was so real, and probably one of the only movies I've seen that came as close to the book as it was written. I will be waiting for the sequels!!! 5 outta 4 stars!!
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang: People think I'm nuts, but Robert Downy Jr. is one of my favorites. So naturally, I had to check out this flick. PLUS Val Kilmer playing a gay guy...who couldn't resist? I thought this movie was so entertaining. It was a murder/mystery/comedy and it played up to all the genres well. Narrated by Robert Downey's character, which is where the humor was placed into the story, and Val Kilmer is a private investigator kinda guy (who just has the greatest sense of humor about his sexual orientation), they try to solve a murder/set up...and if I go on to explain it, I will just make it confusing. I suggest checking it out, though! 4 outta 4 stars.
The Ringer: Okay. This movie is just WRONG!!! LOL! But it made me laugh. Johnny Knoxville is hard up for cash, as is his uncle. They concoct a plan to enter Johnny's character into the special Olympics to score the moula. Well, the other olympians catch on, but keep his secret so that he can win against a 3 or 4 or 6 time champion. The special olympians are funnier than Johnny Knoxville... Best line of the movie "I didn't get any fucking ice cream!!!! Did you get icecream? It is just so freaking funny...it reminds me of the South Park when Cartman tries to fix the special Olympics. 3 outta 4 stars just cuz that is SOOOO wrong!!!!!
Fun With Dick and Jane: Well...I never saw the original, but I don't think anyone can beat Jim Carey's acting. He is just good. And I love their kid...they have an immigrant housekeeper/nanny, and the kid speaks freaking spanish more than english!!! HA!!! So it was a good movie, and I laughed, and it was entertaining...but I really can't say it was any different than all the other run of the mill comedy flicks. 2 outta 4 stars cuz Jim Carey made the movie.
The Notebook: Man...I watched this a while ago with my mom and mother-in-law and thought it was a really good movie. Then I watched it the other day and just sobbed. What the hell???? What made it more sad the 2nd time around?? What a freaking story. Typical 1920's daughter of a rich man falls for a charming boy that comes from nothing, she is forbidden to see him, they break up, he writes to her every day and her mom hides the letters....years later they reunite but the bitch has a rich fiance and she has to decide between the 2. The kicker is that the whole story is being narrated by some old guy reading a hand written book to some old chick with really bad dimensia or althiemers or whatever. Stop reading here if you never saw this movie and you don't like spoilers!!! The old man is the boy with nothing and the old chick is the daughter of a rich man...and they were married and yadda yadda yadda, and when she got really sick, he moved into the home with her. He reads this damn book (that she wrote as "The Story of Us") to her every day hoping she will remember that he is her husband. I thought to myself "does this just happen in the movies, or are there really men out there like that?" and all I could think is that my man would be crazy enough in love to do that too. It makes me overclempt.... (tawk amongst yourselves... he he) 3 outta 4 stars cuz I'm just not that into sappy movies.

its been a long time....

...Since I've rock and rolled.... da na na na NA na na na na na.

Well, I know I have abandoned spilling excess crap outta my head on the internet, but I am back now. And you can count on my nonsense being published again. With that in mind, there is a lot to catch up on. I have stock piled it in a not so safe place (the depths of my memory) and will gradually relay it to you as it comes back to me. I think. So enjoy.