sample

ugh

drunken shout outs....

hi everyone. its been another long time since i've been on here, but i am drunken and happy and i thought i would say hola. :) yipeeeeeeeee!!!!!! the shello jots are kickin' in and the bay breezes are flowing. so i will be hung over in church tomorrow, but God doesn't judge. so i am outta here, cuz i think the ice in my drink is melting and watering it down....bad news. latah!!!

como? seriously loco...

Did I spell that right? Eh...I really don't freaking care. So how 'bout I was watching TV last night when this commercial came on. I think its the same one that has been pissing my mom off for some time now. Its in regards to how "unfair" medical practice is in Pennsylvania. There are "minorities" (who are seriously the majority of our population now, so can we get a new word for it?) describing their plights to have good medical benefits magically poof into their hands. This one guy says that he is too poor and his coverage blows...WELCOME TO AMERICA JACKASS!!!! Our health coverage just sucks anyway, its not because your skin is brown. My family struggled with the same bullshit for years..and guess what? Now we pay $400 a month out of my husband's hard earned salary and our coverage still sucks rotten eggs--and my kids aren't even covered under that fee!!!! YEAH! And here's the kicker...WE ARE MIDDLE CLASS WHITE FOLKS!!!! Then there was this other guy--this is the best one. He goes off in Spanish about how its not fair that he can't get good health care because he can't find a doctor to understand what he is saying. Yes, well I don't feel so bad for this fella. I wouldn't move to Mexico, or France, or Italy or anywhere the native language isn't ENGLISH and be arrogant enough to think there is no need to learn to speak their tongue. Hello stupid!!! You're country wouldn't have sympathy on my dumb ass if I did that. What I found to be the VERY BEST part of that segment was the fact they used flippin' subtitles. Yes, subtitles, because hmmmm...I guess the producers of that little commercial are living in the reality that not everyone in this country speaks Spanish...and why the fuck should we? Ha ha ha...subtitles for some jackass bitching about his doctor not knowing Spanish....ha ha ha! I guess the whole point of the commercial was for Pennsylvania to find a better way to make healthcare more uniform across the board. But lets face the facts: all of our programs nation wide are suffering, as is the economy. Its all about the money, and if you're lucky you work for a large corporation that eats your insurance costs...but on the other hand, how good are they? And lets face this fact as well: its difficult enough to find a doctor that doesn't cheat, molest patients, hire irresponsible oafs that can't file records correctly as not to mix up patients (yes, personal experience), or isn't as concerned about if you can pay for procedures and meds but is more concerned about your health. Why screw with the good doctors out there just because they aren't bi or even trilingual? They practice in America...the country that has been teaching "ENGLISH" in its classrooms for oh, just a few hundred years as its primary language. The moral of my story: stop airing this bullshit commercial...for one thing, Pennsylvania is not discriminating people by denying good health care benefits. We are ALL getting screwed in way or another--I've cried about it on several occasions. Did you know that you can get denied care from an insurance company (namely Highmark BCBS) for the simple fact that you were on medication OR professional care for ANY mental illness at ANY time in your life? Unless you work for a large company that doesn't ask for a medical history at the time of application. PLUS, if you have a pre-existing condition, not only can they refuse to cover care for that ongoing issue, they can deny you coverage all together or ask you to pay an $800 a month premium for coverage of any new conditions. Did you also know that a family could have income low enough to qualify for housing assistance and food stamps, but still have to pay a monthly premium for state health care? That includes white people too you whiney turds. And for another thing, call me a bigot if you like, if you want to be heard in this country, say it in English please. I am tired of being classified as insensitive jerks because we aren't adapting to the people who immigrate here. I have nothing against immigration...hell, that is how this country became what it is; with one small exception: my great grandmother made every effort to learn to speak English, and all 11 of her children learned English as children, rather than Italian. And they never lost their culture along the way. Can't anyone just live with the fact the economy bites, and not place the blame solely on discrimination?

i can dig this...

There are way too many 'make me wanna scrape out my eardrums with a dull knife' kind of kids music groups out there. Such "artists" (I guess as they like to be referred to) include: Barney--a freakishly kind plum colored dinosaur, The Wiggles--4 Aussie dudes who drive around in the tiny ass little car that they refer to as "The Big Red Car", and The Doodlebops--I don't even know what to say about these wierdos...kinda like clown college meets bad highschool theater. At any rate, no matter what a parent does to avoid these entertainment disasters, children develop obcessive phases of worship to these "musicians". Alas, there is hope to the industry. There is this fella, his name is Dan Zanes, who is revolutionizing "family music". Originally in the band called "Del Fuegos" (they had a few hit singles in the early 80's), he took time off from music when the band broke up. Then when he had kids, he got together with some of the parents he met from outings to the park and stuff, and they started playing music for their kids. It got pretty big in his neighborhood, so they started recording and playing parties and stuff. Its good music though. Its not the hokey, bouncy, repetitive, annoying noise us parents cringe and try to tolerate. Its like mellow mini rock. And there is just something wacky about Dan Zanes that my kids love to watch, and his videos (they plan them on Noggin a lot, and sometimes Disney) are fun. Festival Five and Starbucks just co-released a new album of the band that is being sold at Starbucks. This dude is making mad cash with this genre of "family" tunes. What a relief! Thank you Dan!!
http://festivalfive.com/flash/video5.shtml Click to check out some of his videos... he kinda has a Bob Dylan kind of sound. House Party Time and Smile, Smile, Smile are good.

still don't get it...

I could only upload 2 pictures in my last blog. At least I got the dramatic effect I was going for. (ahhhh...another sentence ending with a preposition) Okay...enjoy. (sentence fragment)

BOO!!!!!!

what in God's name possesses people to get the camera when they see one of these things? my first instinct is murder. Uuuuhhh...JRo, in the basement with a newspaper.

google these freakish bastards

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Yeah...I don't know whether to be scared or grossed out. All I know is that I get the heeby jeebies just looking at these fellas. They have plagued every home I have lived in since I moved out of my parents' house, and I am sure they were there, I just didn't have to exterminate them. For as long as I could remember I have always referred to these freakishly quick, creepy cellar dwelling nuisances as silverfish. I recently googled them because for some reason, they have chosen to shack up in my home in mass quantities this year. When I googled "silverfish" this nasty little fucker (can I say that on here?) came up in the results. Well, thank god I don't have what are really silverfish. Turns out these ugly basement bugs could be like an inbred relative of the cock-a-roach (you have to say that with a Mexican sort of accent). They like to eat paper, glue, cardboard etc. They sound a little easier to eliminate though. So back to my haunting insect, I have come to find out it is called a house centipede. I'd like to shake the nerdy bug genius' hand who conjured up that humdinger of a name... but back to the facts... These things eat spiders--another one of my domestic rivals--as well as other small insects and their eggs. They are nocturnal which is handy because there is nothing like turning on a light to get some water at 1 am and seeing a large bug with 50 legs book across your floor at 800 miles per hour. What's even better is finding curled up carcasses on my bathroom floor because my cat has taken up hunting them as her nocturnal hobby. I am seeking severe vengeance on these vile creatures for the mental anguish and physical repercussions*. They are ugly and I hate them. I get the willies just thinking about them. I have horrible visions of an army of centipedes coming after me. The web site said they bite. YES!!! They bite (okay...so it said rarely...but they do). I am going to arm myself with raid...beside the bed, in my bathrooms...I'll strap a can to the inside of my thigh--not as sexy as Lora Croft, but oh well. Repulsive bastards...

*I was walking down my basement stairs one day, and you know how you notice something but your mind doesn't process what you see quick enough? Yeah...well, there was a big, juicy centipede on my step and, yeah, I keep going knowing I saw something. When I realized I had stepped bare foot on this big daddy nasty bug, I freaked out. Shut up--you would have too. Thus inducing panic and loss of balance and coordination, I fell down about 8 steps smacking my tailbone and head, and I think I bruised a kidney (can you do that?). Man...mental scaring. I still have the heeby jeebies over that... the whole crunching bug under the bare foot and mushy bug guts smooshed into my carpet... nauseating.

contemplating a strike

I know you are probably all broken up and having trouble going about simple daily tasks since I made a promise to blog again and I am not. I have a perfectly good explanation: this blogger site is pissing me off. I have made several attempts to upload images and haven't had any such luck. At first I thought it may be my fault...but come on...lets think about it...not bloodly likely. Then I thought maybe my computer is seeking revenge since I have been neglecting to renew my Notron subscription. But I think I will just place the blame on the people behind the scenes...site administrators, or cyber geeks...whom ever has control over that shit. Lets get with the program people. What in the hell kind of good is a blog about nature's sweet summer beauty and creepy freaky bugs if there are no images to compliment my poetic story telling talents? So what can I say other than we need to get this problem fixed...my public is awaiting me. Until then, here is a fun game to play: go back to my blogs and see how many sentences I ended with prepositions. My 6th grade english teacher would be proud. ;) Hey, if those super guys who wrote the Hokey Pokey can do it, so can I. (Thats what its all about....!!)